Justin Myers / The Guyliner

It’s strange how evocative a term can be, can’t it? As your mind palace attempted to come to grips with the words “dad” and “bod” becoming adjacent, did you feel comforted or a creeping dread?

We all have that friend in our social group – the one whose bulb burns a little dimmer, overshadowed by more fabulous pals. The less kind among us may ask what they bring to the table, but remember, sometimes that person is us, and every rivet has its role.

Whether over the school desk or at the dining table, it’s generally agreed education is the key to an enlightened world. But there’ll always be some who prefer the shadows, whether it’s the row over creationism, debate around sex education or the acknowledgement of lives and relationships that do not, at least immediately or visibly, reflect their own.

We’ve all read those interviews with famous men. You know the ones: the guys who just became fathers for the first time or have a well-established brood and say it’s changed their life. They talk of seeing the world differently, that it’s been the making of them. But what if none of that applies to you?

Time was, if someone you knew was getting married, your only involvement would be: receive invitation; check diary and be dazzled by its stark, blank white pages; RSVP; attend wedding; nurse three-day hangover. Now, however, weddings include you in every part of the process

Not everyone can be the life and soul of the Christmas party, the crowd hanging on their every word, the Insta-paparazzi desperate for a selfie with them. Historically, alcohol has gone some way to helping wallflowers peel themselves away from the anaglypta, but in recent years booze has evolved from confidence accelerant to an entire way of life.

Men realise early on that our height is a big deal. Ask any guy who watched, forlorn, while the teenage growth spurt happened to everyone but him or, conversely, was the first beanpole in a locker room full of beansprouts.

Are we right to blame advances in tech for all our dating ills? I'm not too sure, you know…

All good things must come to an end – and so, thankfully, do plenty of bad ones – but the one grand finale many struggle with is a breakup.

Don’t panic if you feel you’re not putting the hours in on your relationship – there's no need to dash to the nearest petrol station for a bunch of flowers. Just start a new tradition, the best kind: have a date night.

Madonna is back, just like you knew she would be.

Social media allows us to tell our life story – not just the gory details, but the dreary ones too. This is exactly what it’s for; it collects things we’d never bring up in real life unprompted, and puts them out into the universe for consideration.

It’s that time of the year when wet wipes and a phone signal suddenly become the most valuable currency in the country – festival season! B

Eurovision has, for some years now, been trying to make the UK grasp the idea it’s not just high camp, technical malfunctions, and “nul points”, but a serious, slick singing competition.

Wishing to be more confident is something many of us aspire to – perhaps we feel our perceived lack of it helps opportunities pass us by, both personal and professional. The brasher men get laid faster and climb the career ladder quicker, right?